How to Start the Healing Process.

While the title above may look like this article is going to give a one size fits all foolproof tips on how to recover and heal from trauma, the truth about tragedies and traumatic experiences is that there are no rules on how to go about recovering from them. The way one responds or recovers from traumatic experiences is influenced by a number of personal and social influences. But sometimes when one experiences a traumatic event, it can be difficult to know what to do next. Most of the time, survivors feel disorganized and lost making it hard to put forward or prioritize what steps to take or what to do. So, in order to help in that regard, here are some tips to keep in mind as you try to heal and recover.

1. SAFETY:

Healing and recovery from psychological trauma cannot truly take place unless the survivor is in a place of physical safety. Are you in a place where there is a likelihood of a reoccurrence of the incident? No recovery is possible without attending to issues of safety. Cues of safety are the anchors that help us to build our resilience. Each and every time you find your way back to regulation and a feeling of safety – you are healing. You are rebuilding, reshaping, and practicing resilience.

The feeling of safety, of experiencing a sense of autonomous safety is a major key to healing from trauma.

2. SUPPORT:

One important step towards healing from trauma is that healing must begin to take place within the context of emotionally safe relationships. We all need support during our recovery from tragic or traumatic events – whether it is support from family, friends or other survivors.

Keeping quiet about your traumatic experience or isolating yourself will leave you feeling lonely and will turn your head into a toxic space, rather than the quiet, safe and mental loving space we all deserve to inhabit. The act of relating or interacting with another human being in times of tragedy can in itself be curative. And the act of being heard, supported and respected can be therapeutic.

Depending on the circumstances, there may be another person with whom you can share your experience of trauma and from whom you can receive the much needed support. This person may be a best friend, a partner, a community member or someone in your family. The choice of who or if to tell is completely yours. You should not feel rushed to do so.

3. SELF-CARE:

You have survived something awful. You have experienced trauma that no one should ever have to experience and you came out alive. You deserve to take care of yourself in the best way you know how. You deserve to nurse all the injuries you suffered during the traumatic event. You are going to feel confused, angry and sad as well as a million different combinations of emotions. Every kind of combination of emotion is completely and totally normal. You deserve to treat yourself kindly in the midst of the complex emotional experience that you may be having. The obvious question regarding self-care is what should it be? Does it mean a day at the spa, a yoga class, a night out with a friend? Does self-care mean creating a ritual that allows you space to breathe and feel whole again?

Whatever self-care means to you, go ahead and do it. You are going through a lot right now and you deserve kindness from yourself.

4. CHOICES:

After surviving a traumatic event, you have a number of choices to make with regards to the types of services you would like to access.

You have the option of reporting the incident to the police, undergoing a forensic exam for evidence collection, or pursuing a court case if it’s a criminal offense. You also have the option of seeking medical attention. You also have the option of reaching out to a therapist for emotional support.

These choices are deeply personal and each individual will make a different choice based on individual differences, orientation and background.

5. ACCOMMMODATIONS:

You deserve to take the time and space necessary to heal. If you are in school or at work, I hope you will feel empowered and deserving of time off. You are entitled to a vacation, and you are entitled to an extension on that paper or exam. You deserve accommodations so that you can begin the work of healing. You deserve to prioritize your own wellness and elevate your emotional and physical health above all else.

It is important to note that you do not owe anyone an explanation. You do not have to disclose your experience to anyone, even when you are asking for accommodations. Your request can be as simple as “I have had an unexpected personal matter arise and I need time to attend to it.” Or you can tell the full story of your traumatic event if it feels safe to do so. Remember that you are not under any obligation to disclose. 

Feel entitled to whatever accommodations you need in order to support your healing. You deserve it.

As you move forward in your healing journey, remember to treat yourself with the same loving kindness that I am certain you would dole out effortlessly to the people around you.

You deserve nothing less.

If you or someone you know is struggling with anything you have read in this blog, reach out to us at Sercle Inc. We believe that we can support you toward a positive outcome by providing access to virtual and/or in-person therapies addressing underlying psychological trauma through our global directory and our safe, online community platform. Allow us to help you find the path to realistic, long-lasting recovery. For more information, reach out today: info@sercleinc.com