When I was barely 13, I was orally and digitally raped by my dad’s co-worker. I was sitting in the break room, reading a book when the guy came in and locked the door. He started talking to me but before I knew it he pulled out a knife. I was so scared. He threatened to kill me if I yelled for help. He threw me to the ground and cut my clothes off. I cried and begged and he just told me to shut up. He put himself inside me and I started screaming and he said that he had a better way of keeping me quiet. He put it in my mouth. He was so violent and I couldn’t breathe. He made me swallow it all.
After he was done, he said he wanted to see me get off and put his fingers inside me until I did. Then he just left me. They never found him. I attempted suicide twice and was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I’m 19 now. It’s been years, and to this day I can’t get a good night’s sleep without sleeping pills. I have a girlfriend and I’m scared of being intimate, but I’m sometimes able to go whole days without thinking about it. Recovery is hard but I’m glad I’m where I am now, but my heart breaks for everyone who isn’t whole.
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