Anonymous Story: It Started When I Was 6

I was sexually molested by my stepbrother. It started when I was 6. My mom got married to a man who had two older sons. One was always out with his friends and the other was always at home. I was my mum’s only child, so I always felt alone. After I turned 6, he asked me if I wanted to play a game. it was called the vampire game, where he’d lay on top of me and suck on my neck and grind hard.

Every day he’d move a little lower and when I’d resist, he’d tell me that it’d only upset my mom and we’d move. Because I was severely scared of my mom and I loved my stepdad I said nothing. One day when I was about 8 and finger penetration started, I said I’d tell my mom and he beat me to it! He wrote a letter to my mom saying I had a crush on him and I was bothering him so I got in trouble.

By the time I was 13, I got used to him waking me up in the middle of the night to rape me. He’d even do it at our grandmother’s house. all the time, and the people who suspected it called it “sex” and that I was being fast so I would beat myself up even more. At 15, my grades started slipping and one day on my way to school my mom was screaming at me. (my mom was raped herself and never healed, so her anger, I feel, consumes her) but she was yelling and yelling and calling me names when she finally asked, “What the f*ck is your problem? Did someone touch you?” and I finally broke down and told her.

She was silent. She took me to school still and tried to clear her head. She told my stepdad (they’d been divorced for about 4 years but I stayed close to my step-dad) and he came to check on me.  No one but my mother stood by me. My stepdad had a hard time choosing his stepdaughter over his real son. My step-sister said I let it happen. I’ve never forgiven them, and I’m still trying to forgive myself. There were no police or anything because people somehow made it look like consensual sex. I’ve distanced myself from all of them and moved out of state & really, I have no intentions of ever moving back home.

“A small gesture can turn somebody’s situation around. Support survivors by ONLY leaving a kind and thoughtful comment.”