Anonymous Story: I Was Young and Innocent

When I was 6 years old, I traveled with my family for the Christmas holidays and my life changed forever. On one of the days, my older female cousin who is about 8-10 years asked me to accompany her to a nearby bush. Being younger and Innocent, I consented. When we got to the bush, she made me lie down on the floor and removed my shorts. I trusted her, not knowing what she was doing. She played with my dick, and when I felt like easing myself, she noticed my erection, climbed on me, and began riding me. I never understood what she was doing, and after a few minutes, she asked that I put my fingers in her p***y. I innocently obliged. When she was done, she made me promise not to tell anyone. After the holidays, we returned to Owerri, I was unable to talk to my parents about this.

My Dad being a civil servant and my mom a trader, I was always allowed to go stay in our neighbor’s place. They had a maid. She was about 12 years old. She always told my parents she liked me, but they never knew what she meant. One day while we were alone, she asked me in plain Igbo language if I’d had sex before. I said yes, that my cousin made me do it. She smiled. She made me eat her p****y and she did the same to me. The assault continued for months, sometimes she’d come to the house and ask my parents to allow me to follow her home. My parents would agree without any hesitation because they never knew what was happening. After about 6 months, they moved out of the area and there was no one to do it with. Then years passed and I entered secondary school.

Around JSS3, I noticed I was getting attracted to kids, girls way younger. I always had that urge to make out with them. But somehow it never happened till around SS1. I was in my family friend’s house and their maid who was about 8 years younger came in and we started playing, I devised a means to finger her. I felt bad afterward, but when I went home, I noticed I was more happy than remorseful. But the girl started avoiding me, I still noticed I enjoyed forcing girls if I wanted to press their breasts or anything. So, I started avoiding occasions that would make me stay alone with girls because I was avoiding a scandal being that my parents were well respected in church.

The problem now is after some years I traveled home and saw a female cousin who is younger than me, I talked her into having me squeeze her breast, and kiss her and when I wanted to finger her, she refused, and slowly we kept it at just kissing and squeezing breast, but after a while she told me it was wrong…… not that I didn’t know but I couldn’t help myself. Now I can say I’ve gotten over all this to an extent like I don’t get attracted to younger kids again, prayed seriously about it, and talked to my babe and my female bestie about it but the truth is once in a while I find myself looking at my female cousins with lustful eyes.

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