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My father’s friend, who is also his colleague, used to visit us from Bayelsa State, and he would stay for a few days. We used to look forward to his visits because he brought us gifts. I grew up in a polygamous home and we are fewer girls than boys, the boys are almost triple the number of girls and I’m the first girl. I was such a tomboy when I was a teenager. Sometimes, I sit and think and I wonder how anyone could have been attracted to me then.
I didn’t like a lot of things about my body, so I wonder, was it just the fact that I was a girl? That was it for him? I want to make this as short as possible but the story is just pouring out. My “uncle” started touching me at some point in my life, I can’t remember when it started but when I became aware, I was 15 years old and wanted it to stop. I remember him offering me money and trying to insert his fingers into my vagina. I didn’t scream. I never did, but I fought.
I remember always hitting him really hard when I became aware. I hated him. I stopped looking forward to his coming. I stopped greeting him when he visited. I was disgusted (at him? I don’t know). They are retired now (himself and my dad) but he still visits. Last year (2017), before he visited, as always my dad announced it and asked me to help clean the visitors’ room. My mom traveled, but she told me to be careful when he visits.
I probed her and she told me my “uncle” made a pass at her and grabbed her when she tried to walk out on him. She spilled the food she served him and that was when he let go which gave her the opportunity to run. I was gobsmacked. I refused to greet him or serve him meals when he visited. I let my cousin do it. I was extremely cold to him until he left and I don’t know how to feel.
You see, my father used to stay over with me in the hospital when I was younger. He is my best friend but I don’t know if I can ever approach him with this story. This “uncle” has three daughters – I have imaginations. I don’t know when I’ll be able to confront him or if these little acts of defiance will really help? I’m 24 years old now and I’ve taken self-defense classes. I’m always wary of people.
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