The need to improve and update sex and relationship education in school comes as the number of sexual assaults experienced by children from adults and their peers is on the rise. Young people must have an education that teaches them the importance of healthy and stable relationships, and what exploitative relationships look like. We all know that children and young people experience sexual harassment and violence, and online they are exposed to images and content which can be very disturbing and addictive. Hence, it is vital that schools and parents give children the information they need about sex, consent and healthy relationships.
Sex Ed varies from family to family and school to school, so people’s experiences are different. Does sex Ed actually fulfill its course name? most of the time, no. No it does not. It is important to discuss sex and relationships in detail. So young people, teens can feel comfortable with their bodies and the way they work.
Below are some topics that should be covered in sex Ed:
What your hymen really is
The hymen is described mainly as this thick wall of skin that can only be broken when you lose your virginity. There’s this misconception that the hymen is like a bubble that disappears into nothingness the minute it is breach. But in reality, the membrane that makes up the hymen is stretchy, so most hymens that are considered broken are just stretched. It’s more like tissue with a hole in it that can be stretched by various sorts of objects. There are a thousand ways a girl/woman can stretch the hymen, most of them not including sexual intercourse. In fact, a lot of young girls stretch their hymens before they even begin to think about having sex. Blood on the sheets on the wedding night was thought to signify that sexy times occurred, and the woman it occurred with was, in fact, a virgin instead of a slut. But if anything, blood after first-time sex has less to do with a hymen and more to do with a lack of lubrication and a seriously sore vagina, according to experts.
Only have sex with someone if you want to
Normally, sex Ed mostly covers the “sexual pressures” young people face from strangers, but not what to do when you’re dating and you’re not ready to have sex or when the person you’re already having sex with wants you, and you absolutely aren’t in the mood at that time. Consent is largely left out. Even if you’ve had sex a thousand times with this person, you have every right to say no if you don’t feel like doing it. You don’t have to make excuses. Or feel guilty. Your body is yours and you can have sex whenever you feel like it (if your partner is happy to as well, of course), enthusiasm is what makes the difference.
“Ready” is subjective
What does “ready” really mean? There’s a lot of pressure in high school to have a boyfriend, to have sex, to get felt up by a guy. As a result, many young girls go along with what their peers are doing because they feel that is what is expected of them. They think that sex is what you do when you date someone, so they go with it even when it’s really not what they want. However, if you feel ready, they you feel ready. Really think about your body and your choice, especially not in relation with the guy and the “relationship”. And when the time comes, use protection.
All bodies are unique. Don’t be ashamed of yours
Puberty comes with a lot of changes in the body. There’s a lot of confusion and shame associated with these changes, mostly because teenagers don’t really understand what is “normal” and what isn’t, and they aren’t taught to see these changes in a positive light. The truth is that the body is constantly changing, so it’s important to understand that the perfect female and male bodies are non-existent.
There are a ton of birth control options out there
There are many options besides condoms and pills. Make an appointment with a doctor so s/he can explain what everything is, and you can decide what’s good for you.
If you or your partner have had sex before with someone else, get tested
Because you can never be too safe.
Don’t have sex to prove anything to anyone
Sex shouldn’t be used as measurement for anything, including your self-worth, how much your boyfriend or girlfriend likes you, or your level of cool.
If a guy refuses to use a condom, do not waste your time with him
This is very important. It is, in fact, non-negotiable.
Oftentimes, the language boys use to discuss sex and sexual acts is degrading and shows a lack of understanding of consent and the mutual respect required to have meaningful sex. Girls on the other hand, are not taught enough about respecting and treasuring their bodies and often don’t understand when they’re being sexually exploited. It is the responsibility of the person initiating the sexual encounter to seek consent, nobody should feel peer-pressured. Openness and frankness from early on is quite important and creating an environment where young people feel safe to discuss issues about sex and relationship at home and in school would make a world of difference. What was your sex and relationship education? What other topic do you think should be in there? Use the comment section.