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I started my first job after finishing school at the end of 2016. I got a job as a quality assurance officer at a biscuit company. One day, I got raped by a foreigner at my work place. It happened while I was walking to my car at night alone. I was so depressed and finally I realized that I was pregnant, 9 weeks. I resigned from my my job, I ran away from my family, hid everything from everyone. I couldn’t think of anything else, I just wanted to die. Until one day, I asked for help from a celebrity who was involved in helping victims of rape. I went to her place and stayed with her until I delivered my baby.
I neglected my health and my baby’s health. I wasn’t even eating good foods (I had no money), I did not go for check-up, I didn’t take any supplement. Luckily the baby was healthy. When I went to the doctor for check-up and to book a slot at the hospital, it was one month to my delivery date. In Malaysia, if you have a baby before marriage, people will judge you for being a bad girl. So, I decided to give my baby to a foster family. My family only knew about these 2 days after I delivered the baby because I was admitted at a government hospital and the only way I could go back home was by bringing my mother/father, so that the hospital could have my full record and so on.
I had to tell my family. I’ve been having such a hard time because I love my baby, I knew I had made a big mistake by giving her to a foster family. I kept crying, every day, nothing can be done now. I hate myself; I have no intention of getting married after what had happened. It ruined my life. In Malaysia, if you are not a virgin anymore, no one would want you. Now, I’m having depression, high blood pressure. I have no job, no money, I had to give up on my daughter, I had to forget the intention of having a beautiful wedding and family, I had to act strong and cheerful in front of everyone.
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