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i was raped at the very age of 11 and the series of torturous moments did not stop until I was 16. I’m a boy btw and I was constantly assaulted by my neighbor’s son. Normally, both of my parents would travel for work and I’d be alone at home, it happened often. He offered to keep me company, and it started with him filling me with stories of his sexual encounters. I was uncomfortable and I told him that I was, yet he still continued.
Over time, he began to touch me at places he shouldn’t and eventually it led to him forcing me into it. For years, he convinced me that I wanted it and that I asked for it. He even managed to convince me that I enjoyed it at some point. He didn’t stop and everyday was hell to me. Now that he’s gone, I can’t help but think how a part of my life is missing because of him. People around me tell me to move on and I’m trying my best to do so but I just can’t.
It’s haunting me till this day and I don’t know what to do to make it stop. I needed closure but all that I’m getting from people around me is just a halt. They tell me to stop thinking and creating drama for myself. I’ve had countless of suicide attempts and all failed and idk how to live knowing that I can’t tell anyone about what happened without being shut down and there’s this part of me that’s missing. I don’t know how to put this in words but I long for the moment that someone actually understands how I feel.
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