Anonymous Story: I Couldn’t Tell Anyone

It all started when I was 15/16, I stayed at my school immediately after secondary school because I left school very young and it was an only female school so I never got to experience anything about boyfriend or something. I was this kind of girl that enjoys fantasy world and could stay up all night watching movies. One particular day, my sis and I quarreled so her hubby gave me a hug. It ended there, but few days later he would come to my room to ask me to check on something in the kitchen. When I got there, he started touching me and fondling with my breast, making out with me. I tried to scream but I just couldn’t. It went on like that for a year, I couldn’t tell anyone because no one ever believes me, they think am telling tales.

At age 17, I went back to my parents and each time I was home my mum would taunt me and make home hell for me saying she can’t feed me. I had to go back. At a point, I needed someone to talk to and I met a guy online who told me to hide each time he comes around which I did and he couldn’t touch me. On meeting the online guy who gave me so much care, he disvirgined me. I felt relieved that I was still a virgin little did I know my travail just started. That night my sister’s hubby forced me to real sex even when I screamed no one could hear me, ever since then he comes back each and every day with or without my period. Every night I cried myself to sleep in the shower because when I used to hide in the bathroom, he spoilt the lock to my room and bathroom. I didn’t have privacy of my own.

@18 I ran from home told my family what he had done over a text but he denied, I begged everyone not to tell my sis because I loved her so much. Staying at home again was hell because if I should mistakenly sleep anyhow or wear anything short my mum would frustrate my life.  I went back again to my sis’ house but with intentions. I threatened to kill his family and he got me arrested, I told the police what he had done but I was only insulted and called names even the female officers were not left out I slept in a police cell until I was bailed out the next day. My family got closer than we ever did, but I was never happy I tried to find love in anyone, I lost my self-esteem, each time I walk I feel people talk about me and insult me.

Like that experience wasn’t enough I gained admission at Mapoly in 2015, I was raped by a cultist because my boyfriend at that moment offended them. Until now my sister’s hubby still touches me each time I was sent by my mum to give him stuff. I will be 22 in July and just yesterday, I realized that I’m a sex addict, though I rarely cheat and I find it hard to sleep with men for money, though it once crossed my mind. My problem is I find it hard to forget my past and to move on I can’t even get married because I can never get pregnant again. I feel like I have nothing to live for I’ve tried suicide countless times but it never works, I feel so left behind while the whole world is ahead of me. I’m just so fed up.

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