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I’m a girl and I was 5 years old when my female cousin started touching me. I really looked up to my cousin who was about 16 years old and then she came to stay with us for a few years. I wasn’t allowed to watch movies but when my parents would go out, she’d go and rent these movies and she’d make me watch one with her that involved a sex scene. The day after we watched it, she asked me to come to her room to help her practice something but I didn’t really understand what was happening so, she told me to lie on top her body and begin to move up and down. She made me dry hump her and told me not to tell anyone. This became a daily routine and I couldn’t say no because I was scared she’d do the same to my sister. It continued for two years until she left but I was already used to it.
Another one of my cousins visited and started the same thing too but I couldn’t still talk to anyone because I was so ashamed. I actually became scared of visitors(still am). But by the time I turned 9, I’d started craving the sexual experience and I had to distance myself from my sister so I wouldn’t do what they did to me to her. I’d stay away from my female visitors around my age too because I didn’t want to do it to them. Eventually, I started browsing nude pics online until I started watching videos and since then I’ve been fighting an addiction to porn and I’m so addicted that sex doesn’t even satisfy like porn. I heard my cousin’s sister died and I found myself wishing she herself had died instead.
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