Anonymous Story: I Couldn’t Fight Him Off.

I was 11 or 12 when it happened. I was in secondary school and was a junior student-a stubborn one at that. The perpetrator was a senior student in the same room as me. When it was lights out and I was sleeping, he slipped down from the top bunk and pulled my pants down, and began abusing me. I was quite small so I couldn’t fight him off, everyone was sleeping and I didn’t know what to do. He penetrated, but it wasn’t all of it, and it hurt. I tried to pinch it to get him to stop but he punched me so I just let it go because I thought it was a one-time thing.

He came back the next day and the day after, I didn’t know who to talk to or how to begin explaining what happened. Some days I tied my sheets around my waist so he wouldn’t be able to get there but it didn’t work. I tried sleeping face up but that made it worse, I tried going to other rooms but they did head counts so I always got found out. I felt helpless and useless and I would get angry at the thought of it because he would leave cum on me and I felt disgusted trying to clean up.

Finally, I had the courage to fight him off after a while and that was the happiest moment ever. He never came back again because I threatened to make noise, I only wish I felt that confident sooner than later. I still feel horrible when I think about it. I’ve only told two of my friends that I felt safe around when it popped into my head. It makes me feel like I’m less of a man. I haven’t told my mum or dad, or my brothers and cousins that were in the same school as me at the time. I don’t know if I will. I get really sad when I think about it and I try to hide it, sometimes more successful than others, but I just lie about what’s bugging me, obviously. I try to keep myself occupied when it’s on my mind or I end up watching porn.

This would be one way of dealing with it because I feel like I’m telling someone about it without staring them in the eyes. Thank you for the platform. God bless.

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